You know, I’ve known Beth Revis for a couple of years now. We’ve been through a lot together. There was that time I ran off with her husband*; that time we jokingly handed in each other’s manuscripts to our agents** just to see what they’d do; once, she even ran over my dog–by accident!–and rushed him to the vet’s just in time***. I remember pre-ordering Across the Universe the moment I could****, and gobbling up the ARC the day I got it*****.

In all that time, she’s never hurt me like she did now. NEVER. She had the gal to run a contest on her blog–and not just any contest. One called “The Ultimate Fan Contest.”

As. Though. There’s. Any. Doubt.

SERIOUSLY, Beth. I can’t handle this type of betrayal. I can’t. Like I didn’t already prove that during our torrid affair last year?******

But fine. Fine. If you insist, I’ll play.

(Click for full-size. For a more on-topic description, take a look at the DeviantART page.)

* This did not actually happen.
** Neither did this.
*** Or this. Seriously, guys, we’ve never even met face-to-face.
**** This totally did happen though.
***** Also this. But not literally. That wouldn’t digest well.
****** Yeah, no.

… just not on the writing front.

Here’s the skinny:

* I’ve (finally) moved into the new apartment. It is GORGEOUS, zomg. Once there’s art on the walls and all the random tools are off the floor, I’ll take pictures.

* I am avidly beta reading. It’s good times.

* Once I’m done with that, I hope to throw myself into my new novel. I meant to start that back in, um, October. Now I’d be happy if I manage first or second week of December. I won’t go into much detail, but: It’s the first in a trilogy. Very near-future sci-fi. It’s nameless, for now, so let’s call it the Shiny Book Where People Die A Lot.

My fingers are itching to write this thing. It’s gonna be big and ambitious.

* In the meantime, I’m still squeeing over Otherbound every now and again. No, it’s not getting old. And I figure by the time it does get old, I’ll have edits, covers, ARCs, etc. to squee over, so I’m just going to evolve said squeeing slowly.

* As a result of that squeeing, I drew a thing. Well, that’s a lie: I drew a thing forever ago, didn’t touch it for months, then dug it up and finally finished it. Here’s Amara, one of the two PoV characters. (Nolan is the other one; you can see him on Otherbound’s page.)

Click for the full version.

And now, off to devour some more words. Yum. Words.

When I saw Holly Black’s contest for a Black Heart ARC, I knew I needed in, and I knew exactly what I wanted to make. The trilogy’s new covers are lovely; however, the old cover for the first book had a giant fluffy cat on it, which is hard to beat.

So I made the best of both worlds:

Though I sadly didn’t win, I wanted to share this here anyway–both because I’m pleased with the results and because it was a lot of fun to do. Check out the winners here–Holly has some seriously talented fans.

All my troubles seemed so faaar–

Wrong one.

Yesterday was January 31st. This marked two things:

1) It’s been a year since I e-mailed Mr. Agent Man and said (paraphrased): “Let’s roll.”

I have been an agented writer for one full year. It… doesn’t seem anywhere near as long.

2) INCARNATE came out. This is the first time I’ve seen a book grow from idea to draft to final book and it’s been a wonderful journey to be a part of, however slight. In a couple of years, I expect to have a huge shelf of books I can point to and say, “I knew these books before they were books. My friends made those. I have awesome friends.”

(I can say that last thing already, but you know what I mean.)

Right now, I am very happy to have INCARNATE as the first book on that shelf. (Metaphorically speaking. Man, I wish I had enough shelf space to dedicate one to a single book…)

In INCARNATE’s honor, I drew this:

(This may look a little garish on Macs. Here’s a version that will look better on Macs, but more washed out on PCs.)

Man, that title is bringing me back to my high school Latin days. And not in a good way. *shudder*

First off — look! I drew:

Oooh man, it feels nice to be doing art again.

Thinking about yesterday’s post some more, I’ve come to realize a few things. Those small tasks I do during my ‘cooling down’ periods include drawing (see above!), writing/editing/submitting short stories, beta reading novels for friends, designing websites, writing synopses and queries, and doing research and taking notes for future novels. Which basically means that I’m more productive than I give myself credit for… just nowhere near as productive as I feel I should be. I mean, I don’t have a job (I get by on disability benefits), I’m not married, and I have no children (hah!). That means I have scads and scads of free time on my hands. In theory, I should be able to write all day long. When I don’t, well, I look at all the hours wasted and the result is immense frustration.

But that’s overlooking the fact that I’m in on disability benefits for a damn good reason, isn’t it? If it were that easy for me to get work done, I’d be out there, er, doing work.

Anyhow, I also realized that a) I tend to have a far more difficult time getting into projects halfway through (editing, picking up abandoned first drafts, etc.) than starting projects from scratch, and b) I work better with some outside pressure. Organizing myself is hard as hell, but having someone give me a deadline and a job to do? I feel a lot more stressed, but it does tend to get results — and, within limits, the stress is worth it. Nothing feels quite like that sweet bliss of Getting Things Done.

These are all good things to realize. The more I know about myself and how I work, the easier I’ll be able to manipulate myself into productivity. We’re our own worst enemies, right?

I know I’m not supposed to process these kinds of things on a public blog — so long, professionalism! — and I promise I’m not going to make a habit out of it. But I do think it’s important to be at least somewhat open about these kinds of things. If everyone just talks about sunshine and rainbows all the time, we start to think we’re alone when things take a turn downward. And we never, ever are.

Besides: it makes all the sunshine and rainbows even better.

Writing seems to have pretty much won in the eternal battle of writing vs. art — but in an ideal world, I’d be one of those magical people who can actually ~*multitask*~ and balance the two.

Until then, I guess I’ll just have to settle for churning out one portrait every few months. Here’s what I’m working on right now:

I haven’t done much since finishing that baby commission in November, and I’m utterly delighted to be stressing out over proportions, nose shapes and eyebrow curves again. This is what it’s all about. (And no, seriously, there’s not a hint of sarcasm here — I love it!)

The plan is to ink/crosshatch this drawing once I get the pencil work down, similar to this portrait of my sister. I might also trace it on a new sheet after and do some experimentation with markers — I have a whole assortment of shades of grey, both warm and cold, and I’m in dire need of more practice.

Of course, there’s also that pesky ’50s superhero novella waiting to be picked up again, so we’ll see…

Yesterday, I left you with a half-finished portrait of a very blue baby. Today, we continue with a slightly less blue baby. I used various shades of brown to go over the bottom layer, resulting in a more cohesive whole, but also somewhat grungy colors. Baby skin should never be puke green, people.

You’ll notice that I’m mainly sticking to the skin so far, not really bothering with the shirt, eyes or mouth yet: that’s because my focus now is to get the shape of the face right. What you do with the eyes themselves affects that, but not enough that I want to let myself get distracted. Focusing on too many different things at once — it doesn’t work for me.

So, with that same goal — getting the shape of the face right — I applied more yellow, to really bring out those planes the light catches. Next, I finally filled in the eyes and mouth,  and again went over the earlier layers to ‘connect’ and soften up the colors.

Last year, I shared some work-in-progress photos of art I’d done. I figured I’d do another one of those with a commission I finished in November, but I should probably split it up into multiple posts. Otherwise, as those links will tell you, they get loooong.

So, in October, I took the train all the way across the country (it took a full HOUR!) to take some reference photos of my model. My model was, at the time, four or five months old, so that was problematic. I ended up with 82 photos, which is relatively little, but taking more would’ve been too much to ask of the baby. Her mother and I made a selection of eight photos we liked and that I could work with, and finally settled on one, where she’s laughing.

I liked the warm red background in the photos — in fact, I asked for that specifically, since it usually makes for some nice skintones — so I decided to go with red paper, too. I knew I’d draw over every inch of it, but these things have a way of shining through. I chose pastel paper, which turned out to be a huge mistake — but more on that later.

For the sketch, I started with yellow pastel pencil. The blank eyes and open mouth made the girl look pretty freaking terrifying at first. (Not that adding eyes helped much.)
Once I had the basic features in place, I started filling things up. First, I started shading with dark-blue in the darkest places. After that — and this is where the real fun started — I took a close look at the colors in the photo. There was a lot of red, yes, but the other primary colors also showed up a lot. One side of the face was quite blue, and the light was yellow. So what I did then freaked out everyone who saw the WIP: I grabbed blue and yellow and applied them. Quite liberally.

To be continued tomorrow!

… and the first, too, if I’m not mistaken.

Sigh.

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First off: Sniplits is having an awesome Thanksgiving promo. Select up to three short stories, then enter the coupon code ‘Thanks2010′ on the check-out page before September 30th — and you get the stories completely free! (I believe you do need an account for this… but hey, those are free too.)

Now I’d of course suggest my story Rule of Threes, but I’m sure there will be plenty of other stories to your liking, too. (And should you feel so inclined: I’m quite eager for that star rating to change…)

I listened to the story again the other day, and I cannot get over how weird it is to hear someone else tell the story. It’s so wildly different from how it sounds in my head… which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, of course! One of the awesome things about writing is seeing all the different interpretations of your work.

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On to the WIP Wednesday part of the post: Remember how a few weeks ago I said that instead of doing NaNo, I’d be editing a book? Remember how I’ve been suspiciously quiet about said editing? That’s because it didn’t happen. Between beta reading, portrait drawing, and stressing out over agent matters, I’ve been distracted and never got beyond making a to-edit list.

I know, I know. You hereby have permission to flog me.

On the bright side, I anticipate being done with beta reading before the end of the month. Then it’s time for some short story edits, and then I plan to – finally – buckle down and finish the rough draft of Heirs.

I attribute the sudden change in focus to, well, the agent offer. If I could get an offer on a book that I hadn’t touched since April, I can totally get one on a newer-and-better book, right? Especially since the market for this genre is less flooded?

Right.

Work with me, here, I’m trying to think positively

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Anyhow, in order to actually show something: Today I visited the frame shop to pick out a frame and matting for a commission. The commissioner gave me free reign, which was wonderful, but it didn’t make the choice any easier…

That’s after at least half a dozen frames were dismissed.

Anyhow, with this portrait finally done, I’ll post some work-in-progress pictures soon. Should be fun!

… and not of the fictional variety.

Warning: This is a me-me-me post, with some existential angst and whining on the side. Skip as desired!

A lot of writers struggle to make time for writing. I know I’m not alone there.Writing comes at the cost of family, friends, work, housekeeping — but it’s worth it, because it’s our passion, right? You have to make sacrifices for your passion.

But what if you have more than one passion? What if finishing a book gives you the same thrill and contentment and joy as finishing a drawing – and after years of trying, you still can’t find a way to balance the two?

That’s the predicament I find myself in now. I love art. I went to school for it. I want to keep doing it for the rest of my life – both because of sentimental and practical reasons: I make more money with a single drawing than I have with all my writing put together.

But for reasons of the neurological variety, I can’t multitask. I already struggle to keep up with housekeeping and a social life in addition to writing. If I’m willing/able to deal with stress, I can add the occasional Extra Activity: actual work, or reading, or art… but not all of those. Not even close. Something’s gotta give.

So I’ve been neglecting art these past few years in order to focus on writing. About once or twice a year I feel inspired to do more, I stock up on art supplies and brainstorm ideas for drawings and maybe even do a sketch or two — and then I feel bad that I’m so behind on my writing, and let the art slide. When I finally get around to dealing with agents and editors and deadlines, imagine how much worse it’ll be? Then I won’t have the opportunity to postpone writing for weeks or months at a time, and that’s the only way I ever get any art done.

Basically, I need to make some sort of decision.

This week, I realized that I pretty much did: in October, I received an invitation to participate in an exposition. The theme was Black & White. Right up my alley. Charcoal rules, y’all.

The deadline to submit was yesterday.

I’m not happy with this decision, such as it is. But I wouldn’t be the other way around, either. When I write, I feel like I should be drawing. When I draw, I feel like I should be writing.

Sometimes, having less ambition would be nice.