Since I’m in Seattle from June 17th to July 31st to attend Clarion West, I’ve written a number of blog posts beforehand to post while I’m gone. I’ll be keeping an eye on the comments, but might take a while to respond.

More on Showcasing Shinies.

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In the spring of 2010, I wrote a novel that really doesn’t seem to fit with my other work: Not only is it for adults (gasp!), it’s also kinda dark. And screwed up.

(Which just makes it ALL THE MORE FUN.)

Meet Cally Wu — the main character in The Hands of Cally Wu.

Cally
by Diana Mallery*

Cally
by RéJean Dubois

* I’ve known Diana for… wow, almost a decade. Several months ago, she sent me a surprise packet. Let’s just say that you’re going to see her name pop up an awful lot over these next few weeks. <3

The other day, I went through a ton of my old notebooks to find the notes I made for the Always Read the Fae Print sequel.

Surprise number one: I actually found them.

Surprise number two: I also found the notes I made for the first book.

Back then, it was just named “Lillian fantasy” or “Lillian story” and Lillian was in college, studying Something Vaguely Scientific. I was still debating whether she should have burns or hellhound bites. There weren’t any fae yet — I had no idea of the antagonists or who/what they were after, though I did have an idea fo the first scene. (That one actually stuck for the length of the adult version.) At one point, I decided the story needed dragons.

Arjan started off not with a personality or role in the story, but with the following note:

For Lillian story – crush name = Jelle? Arjan? Something very Dutch but simple enough.

Another bit of insight into my thought process:

What kind of critters – made up? Base off existing goblin type things? Research. Also: WTF is actual plot/motivation?

Flipping ahead a few pages, Lillian is still in college instead of working at the restaurant, but I can see the actual plot coming together. The way hellfire works, how her scars tie into the plot, how her dad the warlock sets things in motion, the first incarnation of Merel/Femke (as ‘witch type person’)…

And at the end of that page, I remind myself that I don’t want to make it too YA-y. That went well.

As for my other books? Heirs started out as an adult novel as well. It was going to be very noir and dark. (Um, notsomuch anymore.)

My traumatized, reclusive, messed-up Cally from The Hands of Cally Wu started out as your basic sassy kick-ass urban fantasy heroine.

I love seeing how these things come together. It also really helps me when plotting my next projects: when I’m particularly attached to a concept or plot point that just won’t work for the book, or when I despair at my lack of plot or the flimsiness of the story so far, I remind myself how much these other books changed before I even put a single letter on paper. It helps so much in powering through and getting the story to what I need it to be.

While I’m aware that I have some very legitimate attention span problems, I’m sure this dilemma is one that every author in the world is familiar with: what the heck do I work on next?

In my case, I have several novel-length projects clamoring for my attention Right! This! Instant! Normally, I would simply finish one project (in this case, Heirs) and then figure out what needs to happen next, but this post by Rachel Aaron made me want to take a step back and consider my options.

1. Heirs: This draft is about 20k away from being done, and I hate leaving projects unfinished. It’s the first in a YA urban fantasy trilogy, and I think the different perspective of the MC – he was forced out of the demon-slaying biz after he became deaf but desperately wants back in – might just pique agents’ attention. Plus, trilogies are hot. Which leads me to…
2. Yunupaya. Or Stranger. Or the half-dozen other crappy titles I came up with for this as-of-yet-unwritten YA sci-fi trilogy which I’ve been playing with for over a year. I’m super excited about it; I think it hits a good mix of original and commercial. This was supposed to be the project I’d start on after Heirs.
3. The Newest and Shiniest of All Projects: This one only popped into my head this week, and it’s taking over the neighborhood. I can’t say too much about it yet, but it’s a standalone YA paranormal/fantasy which is a bit more real-world-based than most of my other fantasy projects. It’s also currently bouncing up and down going “I’m THE ONE! WRITE ME. WRITE ME NOW.” Every book does that in the beginning… but every time it feels right. And I really think this could garner a lot of interest.
4. The Hands of Cally Wu: Did I mention I hate leaving projects unfinished? I was supposed to edit this in November. I, uh, didn’t. Basically, I do really love this book and want to mold it into something better than the pathetic excuse of a first draft it is now… but it’s not my regular genre/style, and I worry that I’d be wasting time I could be spending on other books that are in my genre, which would be more useful to my career in both the short and long term.
5. Always Read the Fae Print. Yes, okay, so I just turned down an agent offer. Yes, I’ve queried more agents with this than I care to admit. Yes, I’d pretty much given up on this book… but I really think it could work as a YA. I’ve had that thought for months and months. It means rewriting the whole darned thing, but it’d open up a lot of other avenues. I don’t want to rework a project to death; I know how important it is to move on to the next book. At the same time, there’s life in this project, and I don’t want to give up if it still has a chance.

As you might’ve noticed, I’m trying to take a very objective, commercial view of these projects. Let’s be honest here, my current number one priority is getting an agent.

I’m not selling out: whatever choice I’ll make, I’ll be writing a book that I love and want to write. It’s just that, well, this one is more commercial, and that one’s more interesting, and this one is so close to being done, and this one is more in my regular style, and this one could be The One but it’s kinda different from what I usually write so what if people wouldn’t like my regular work…

… Yeah, this is why getting an agent is so important to me. I always struggle to know what the best course of action is, and it would be such a huge help to have someone else to discuss that with.

Basically, I need a goal. I don’t work well without one. And right now, I’m floundering.

So how do you decide what to work on next? If you’ve got any pointers, I’m all ears!

… and the first, too, if I’m not mistaken.

Sigh.

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First off: Sniplits is having an awesome Thanksgiving promo. Select up to three short stories, then enter the coupon code ‘Thanks2010′ on the check-out page before September 30th — and you get the stories completely free! (I believe you do need an account for this… but hey, those are free too.)

Now I’d of course suggest my story Rule of Threes, but I’m sure there will be plenty of other stories to your liking, too. (And should you feel so inclined: I’m quite eager for that star rating to change…)

I listened to the story again the other day, and I cannot get over how weird it is to hear someone else tell the story. It’s so wildly different from how it sounds in my head… which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, of course! One of the awesome things about writing is seeing all the different interpretations of your work.

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On to the WIP Wednesday part of the post: Remember how a few weeks ago I said that instead of doing NaNo, I’d be editing a book? Remember how I’ve been suspiciously quiet about said editing? That’s because it didn’t happen. Between beta reading, portrait drawing, and stressing out over agent matters, I’ve been distracted and never got beyond making a to-edit list.

I know, I know. You hereby have permission to flog me.

On the bright side, I anticipate being done with beta reading before the end of the month. Then it’s time for some short story edits, and then I plan to – finally – buckle down and finish the rough draft of Heirs.

I attribute the sudden change in focus to, well, the agent offer. If I could get an offer on a book that I hadn’t touched since April, I can totally get one on a newer-and-better book, right? Especially since the market for this genre is less flooded?

Right.

Work with me, here, I’m trying to think positively

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Anyhow, in order to actually show something: Today I visited the frame shop to pick out a frame and matting for a commission. The commissioner gave me free reign, which was wonderful, but it didn’t make the choice any easier…

That’s after at least half a dozen frames were dismissed.

Anyhow, with this portrait finally done, I’ll post some work-in-progress pictures soon. Should be fun!

NaNo kicked off over twelve hours ago here, and a bunch of my friends are already well underway.

As for me, I’m sitting in the kitchen in my PJs, preparing to watch some TV shows and maybe have breakfast. I participated (and won hardcore) in 2008, and participated (and lost pathetically) in 2009, but this year, I’ve got too many other things to focus on. I have several books in need of dire work – the last thing I need is another rough draft to sit on!

Besides, I wrote 40k in March and over 57k in August, so I already feel pretty well-accomplished this year.

I do have a November project: edit The Hands of Cally Wu. No fixed goal, no deadline, just something I’ll be busying myself with. I’ve fallen in love with the book all over again, flawed as it is right now, and I think it’ll be great to polish it up and see what betas think of it. I’ve got a publisher in mind to send it to, as well. (Assuming the agent I’ll no doubt have by the time I finish this book won’t have other ideas for it. AHEM!)

It feels nice to have a plan of action again.

Good luck to everyone embarking on NaNoWriMo; let me know what you’re working on in the comments! I’d love to hear about all your projects.

May you OWN those 50k words like there’s no tomorrow, guys.

I have a few other posts brewing… and then I realized I was a few days behind on the 30 Days of Writing meme. Whoops!

Before I start, though, I have to ask: do any of you follow Community? If not, why not? If so — oh my god that cat from last night’s episode. I cried laughing. No exaggeration.

Anyhow! Onwards with the questions! (And I repeat: if you’re even remotely inclined to answer these questions for yourself, please do so! I’m super curious about all your answers!)

21. Do any of your characters have children? How well do you write them?
Cally’s son Ben is a huge part of the plot in The Hands of Cally Wu. He’s twelve, and I’m pretty sure I write him awfully. What can I say; I just don’t have a heck of a lot of interaction with twelve-year-old boys these days.

But hey, I’m working on it! (Er, on writing Ben. Not so much on hunting down twelve-year-olds…)

22. Tell us about one scene between your characters that you’ve never written or told anyone about before! Serious or not.
Lillian informs Merel that, actually, she’s being terribly offensive to actual pagans with her uninformed wannabe-goth-punk-pagan-wiccan shtick.

I suppose her cluelessness is endearing… but someone probably does need to bonk her upside the head at some point.

23. How long does it usually take you to complete an entire story—from planning to writing to posting (if you post your work)?
I shall take ‘querying’ instead of ‘posting’, and I shall attempt not to weep.

I started planning Fae Print in the summer of 2008, wrote the first draft that November, and queried it in the spring of 2010. As for the others – ah – I suppose I’d need to get to the querying part of it, first. I think I take too much on my plate, which requires me to put some projects on halt for months in order to work on others. This means that everything takes too long, and I’m always busy.

It’s probably not the best strategy ever.

24. How willing are you to kill your characters if the plot so demands it? What’s the most interesting way you’ve killed someone?
*squeak*

I tell myself that I’m absolutely willing to do what it takes, and in theory, I am. I’ve killed a PoV character before (RIP, dude), so I’m up to anything, right?

Apparently not, because usually it doesn’t really occur to me to kill my main characters in the first place.

Sadly, I can’t describe any of the deaths so far: they’re major spoilers. But there’s a somewhat gruesome off-screen death in Fae Print, and several minor/secondary characters bite the dust in painful ways in The Hands of Cally Wu. (Mostly because of Cally’s doing. Sympathetic leads – pshaw! Who needs ‘em?)

25. Do any of your characters have pets? Tell us about them.
Yep! I can’t write a character without first knowing if they’re a dog person or a cat person – or a pet person in the first place.

Lillian’s parents have a talking cat named Person (previously known as Bobo – he renamed himself for obvious reasons). Her love interest Arjan has a cute white girl pit bull called Mick; he also has an unnamed snake.

Roy has a cat called Mouse. He also had cats named Sil and Mac, but, um, I killed them. Horrifically.

(Sorry, Roy.)

(It made for good character motivation.)

I recently noticed something I’m not happy about: in The Hands of Cally Wu, Cally acknowledges her pain.

Now, this is a positive thing in real life. Acknowledging your pain – realizing: what is happening to me is bad; what this person is doing is wrong; I should change this situation before I get hurt worse - is a very healthy thing. It’s something you see primarily in people who’ve dealt with trauma and gotten out on the other side. People like that safeguard themselves. It can come across as selfish, but it’s a good thing. You’re doing what it takes to survive. It can be a relief to see characters respond to trauma in such a productive way, especially if you care about those characters.

In general, I prefer this response over characters who dismiss their pain. “Strong” characters who brush off their pain like it’s nothing annoy the crap out of me. It’s a pet peeve, I guess *g* While avoidancy happens in real life, it seems to be much more common in fiction.

I do understand people’s reasoning for going with that option. Heck, I’m doing it myself in Heirs. Having characters respond to their pain in productive ways rarely makes for good conflict. It can also border on “woe is me”, depending on the writer, and no one wants to read that.

But avoidance has its downsides, which is why I’ve been avoiding it for both Cally and Lillian (from Always Read the Fae Print).

For one, “strong” characters ignoring their pain is kind of overused. It’s a coping technique, not an end goal. These characters are damaged. You can only ignore that for so long.

If the writer acknowledges this – cool. But even then, few writers manage to tackle it in ways we haven’t seen a million times before.

Another downside: At some point, you just want the character you’re reading about to deal with things. If you’re rolling your eyes at the character brushing things off yet again, it’s not a good sign. Confront the elephant in the room and move on with the story.

The thing is, there are more options than just avoidance vs. dealing. When I went over the changes I need to make to The Hands of Cally Wu, I realized that I needed to change her way of thinking about her pain. Acknowledging it doesn’t work for her. She’s been in the same situation all her life, and there’s no way out.

At that point, you don’t acknowledge your pain. You can’t. You deal with it the best way people know how to, and it usually means fooling yourself. You normalize your pain. You defend your situation. You think: it’s not so bad. Other people have it worse. It’s not like this all the time. I shouldn’t complain.

That realization hit me pretty hard. This coping technique is tremendously unhealthy and painful and wrong, but it’s damn common. I know I’m familiar with it, and so are many of my friends – but people who haven’t been there rarely understand. That might be why it’s so hard to write about.

But when people do it right… it hits the reader in the gut. It makes them squirm and want to hug the character and yank them out of there because: no, honey, it is that bad, you don’t deserve this, stop doing this to yourself.

It’s frustrating to read about, sometimes. It’s risky: people might roll their eyes. People might not want to read about someone who’s that self-destructive, who makes excuses for their situation with no attempts at making it any better. For some, it’s probably as much of a pet peeve as “tough” characters are for me. (They might even fall into the same category, depending on how you look at it.)

But it’s also honest. It’s authentic. And I think it’s a part of going there; of taking the risk and doing what it takes to yank the most painful parts of the story to the forefront, even if it means alienating some of your audience.

Not all stories need this. Not all characters respond this way – but this story needs it, and Cally does respond this way, and I think this is going to help me a lot in moving the novel forward.

Thoughts are, as ever, welcome.

Oh, the excitement! *fans self*

11. Who is your favorite character to write? Least favorite?
I love them all, or I wouldn’t write them

That said, Cally from The Hands of Cally Wu is exceptionally difficult. Her voice is very distinct, but also very closed-off. It’s hard to make her come across as sympathetic and interesting, because even in first person present tense, she won’t really let us into her head as much as my other characters will.

Lillian from Always Read the Fae Print is the complete opposite. I love writing her. She flows very, very easily. The humor, the voice, and her more serious traits – yes, damn it, she has those – all fit together seamlessly in my mind. I rarely have a problem with her. She’s just fun.

12. In what story did you feel you did the best job of worldbuilding? Any side-notes on it you’d like to share?
So far, that’d be Fae Print; the worldbuilding in Heirs and The Hands of Cally Wu are both still WIPs. I think the latter especially needs a lot of work; I focus so much on the main character and her situation that the worldbuilding really comes secondary. It’s a very different kind of book from the others. The world is there, but she doesn’t interact with it as much as my other main characters. Since I started writing the book without a lot of preparation (very unlike my usual methods), it was easy to let that part fall by the wayside.

Definitely something I’ll need to fix in revisions. Eep!

13. What’s your favorite culture to write, fictional or not?
Dutch. I’m intimately familiar with it for some absolutely bizarre reason, and it’s very interesting to approach it from an outside perspective. I really hope I’ll be able to write future books in the Fae Print series some day.

14. How do you map out locations, if needed? Do you have any to show us?
I use Google Maps! It’s a really handy tool for personalized maps. Here’s the one I have for Heirs right now, with the spoily things purple-d out:

I also had one for Always Read the Fae Print, but since I actually live in this city, I didn’t use it as much. I knew most of the locations and details by heart. I mainly used it to figure out the best routes for getting from here to there, how long it would take, et cetera.

For Heirs, it serves much more of a purpose: street view is my saviour. It also helps in adding the little necessary details, like which road they’re driving on. Without this I’d actually have to do something absurd like visit Seattle, which –

Actually, I guess there are worse things!

15. Midway question! Tell us about a writer you admire, whether professional or not!
Mike Carey. I don’t really know anything about the dude in real life, but his writing is kick-ass. As much as I love the idea of urban fantasy, I often don’t really feel compelled by the execution. His books are an exception.

I’m also quite partial to Maggie Stiefvater. I mean, she draws! And she does it prettily! And she can also, you know, write, I suppose. I can’t help but appreciate that combination.

Which reminds me that I really ought to go work on those commissions. It’s such a balancing game, this life. 

It’s actually past 1 in the afternoon, but, ah, we’ll just say it’s morning. It still feels like morning, but that may have something to do with my lack of productivity so far.

In my defense, it is Monday.

So instead – question time!

6. Where are you most comfortable writing? At what time of day? Computer or good ol’ pen and paper?
Honestly? Everywhere, anytime. It depends on a lot of factors, but location and time aren’t among them. I was fairly productive on the plane from Sydney to Kuala Lumpur, sitting in the center seat in the center row (blegh!), writing in my battered notebook with a barely-functional pen – but I can slack off enormously in a dead-silent house, sitting comfortably in front of my computer. (And vice versa.)

I think I prefer the computer though. It’s just faster. If only it didn’t come with those pesky distractions *g*

7. Do you listen to music while you write? What kind? Are there any songs you like to relate/apply to your characters?
Rarely; I usually pay too much attention to lyrics to be able to focus on what I’m actually writing. When I do listen to music, it’s usually music I’m very familiar with.

I definitely love making soundtracks to my characters. There’s too many to name! Just going on main characters, though, these are my current favourites…

For Roy from Heirs:

For Cally from The Hands of Cally Wu:

For Lillian from Always Read the Fae Print:

8. What’s your favorite genre to write? To read?
I love writing contemporary fantasy/sci-fi, blending the speculative with our own world. The options are limitless, and you already have a world to ground yourself in and relate things to.

As far as reading goes, I’m more open to other genres. Overall, I think I’m more drawn to styles of writing than genre. (And no, I don’t think I could easily describe it. Just some stories annoy me, and some I love, and genre has little to do with it. But of course I’m incredibly fond of fantasy/sci-fi done well – but the flipside is that I get terribly annoyed when it’s done wrong, in my not-so-humble opinion.)

9. How do you get ideas for your characters? Describe the process of creating them.
This varies so much. Sometimes they pop up mostly-formed; other times, I start from a vague idea and go from there. For Roy from Heirs, my process went like this: I wanted to write your standard demon-slaying badass, who’s forced out of his job due to a sudden disability. What aspect of the character would provide the most conflict in this kind of situation? If he’s completely dedicated to the job. Certain traits began to form, like stoicism, and confidence-bordering-on-arrogance. When his ex-girlfriend showed up (in my head, that is), I started thinking of him as opposed to her: since his ex is telepathic, communication between them is easy. To contrast this, he doesn’t actually express his feelings or opinions that often. And since his ex is a consummate liar and actress, he values honesty and reliability.

10. What are some really weird situations your characters have been in? Everything from serious canon scenes to meme questions counts!
Um, every scene from Fae Print. The book starts with a flying doormat delivering a message from Lillian’s mom. Later on, Lillian takes on a werewolf with cutlery and a cordless phone, threatens a Germanic god with a bike pump, and various other things.

This is going to be one of those self-absorbed posts about feeeelings. Be warned, all ye who enter here.

So, I’m a big proponent of Doing What It Takes To Get Stuff Done. This actually doesn’t turn me into a complete drill sergeant. It does the exact opposite: I try to be relaxed, zen, accept my shortcomings, and not force myself into doing something when my body or brain say it’s wrong.

I know, it’s amazing how I get anything done at all.

The thing is, I’ve got this annoying brain that doesn’t work like most people’s, and when I try to fight against it, bad things tend to happen. The worst time in my life can be traced right back to that. When I started to accept my limits, life got better. I got things done, and actually felt like a human being in the process. Score!

What this means is that after any major project, I need to rest a while. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few weeks. I’ve had to account for this when planning my schedule. (Yes, I plan my writing schedule months in advance.) I rarely let myself take more than a month off, and I usually do get things done during that time – they’re just small things. A sketch here. Editing a short story there. Brainstorming. Editing for other people. When I try to do more than what I’m capable of, my brain lets me know, and I shut down. If I keep pushing myself, Bad Things Happen. I can do it when a deadline is looming, but I pay the price later, with long stretches ofhighly frustrating inactivity.

Anyway, When I’m up to writing or revising again, I get antsy. My brain won’t shut up about this or that book, and I know it’s time to get back to work. I’m pretty much in that state right now – the only problem is, I’ve already got work to do. August was reserved to work on The Audio File – the graphic novel project I’m doing in collaboration with K.V. Taylor. I’m excited about it, it looks fun and challenging, and I’m making good headway on drawing the first page.

Brain sez: not enough. It’s already been eagerly plotting the YA sci-fi I’ve mentioned here and there, which I started in November ’09 and subsequently scrapped. Some brainstorming with Jodi Meadows helped me put some things together, reading The Hunger Games got me extra excited to be digging into the YA game and helped me rethink my main character’s motivation, and I’ve been scribbling notebooks full of plotting.

I told my brain, all right, I can keep plotting eagerly, so I can start writing this book when I return from my September vacation. (I’m going to Australia for like a month. How awesome is that?)

But no. Yesterday evening, the brain decided that if it can’t write the YA sci-fi yet, maybe shifting gears to editing The Hands of Cally Wu would help. After all, the writing style can work, but needs a lot of polishing, and I still need to work on the pacing and introduce some plot points earlier on, and -

No, I chastised the brain. August is for Audio File. Besides, if I take on any other major projects, I’ll just need to put it on hold during Australia (!!!) and pausing a project midway is the fastest route to doubting yourself and wanting to give up.

The brain grumped. The brain went to sleep. The brain woke up after an hour of sleep and said, “You know, that urban fantasy trilogy you’ve been brainstorming for the past year and a half? It could work as a YA.”

I laughed, turned over to get back to sleep – and realized it was right. Sleep-deprived Tweeting from my cellphone ensued.

The thing is – this solves so many of the problems I’ve been having with the book. It introduces some others, but those are easily solved. It changes the tone, but that’s not necessarily bad. The characters are younger, and therefore different, but it just makes them more interesting/deliciously angsty. There’s more conflict. And more importantly/annoyingly, since I’ve already done a lot of plotting for this book, it’s just about ready to be written now. (I mean, several hours of non-stop brainstorming will help you convert a book to YA in no time flat.)

So when I’m normally cursing my brain because it’s not letting me be productive – sometimes it it does the opposite.

And at the least opportune time, too. Is anyone surprised?